Nzara's journey to joy via Manchester, music and food
“When I'm severely depressed, I impulse buy. I do make sure that I have paid all my bills first, but it is money that I probably should have saved and that's where I end up beating myself up about it. I'm now in the stages of trying to figure out how to navigate that.”
Music production student, Nzara
Five years ago, music production student Nzara landed in Manchester from Florida with only enough money to see her through two weeks before having to declare herself homeless. She didn’t expect her journey to be as challenging as it turned out to be. Struggling with health issues, both physical and mental, Nzara found herself feeling overwhelmed. But everything started to change when she discovered Bread and Butter.
The power of good food
Nzara explains; “The last two years I had been ill with a hernia. I had surgery for it in December and because of that health issue my relationship with food had become very strained because I couldn't really eat anything. After the surgery I started getting better and I started to redevelop my relationship with food, but the problem was financially I was struggling. So the fresh fruits and vegetables that I really needed to help me heal after surgery, I didn't really have access to. And when I signed up to Bread and Butter and realised how much fruit and vegetables you actually got, it actually motivated me to start cooking for myself again, which improved my mental health as well as my physical health greatly.”
Nzara found solace in batch cooking, a practice that not only saved her time but made it possible to have healthy meals ready all week long. This small change in her routine became a way for her to take control of her life. Batch cooking gave her purpose and she enjoyed sharing her meals with her neighbours too.
“I love making leek and potato soup, risotto, pasta. Just I love making anything. I'll just throw it into a pot. This week in my Bread and Butter bags, I got a full chicken. I'm only one person! This chicken feeds six, so I'm going to be making that and sharing that with the neighbours.”
A daily battle
As well as studying music production at Manchester University, Nzara also volunteers at a local homeless hostel also tries to make the most of the city’s buzzing music scene when she can. Despite trying to keep as busy as possible, Nzara’s mental health battle is a daily struggle. Nzara says, “I'll be completely honest I can't tell you whether each day will continue to be a good day. If it starts out as a good day, I can't tell you whether or not it will start out really fantastically and end really badly. For me, the only thing that I am very grateful for is that I have learned not to manage it, but how to live with it. I'm kinder to myself on the difficult days, which takes a lot of practice. I think, we as a society honour and empower people who can keep it all together and we don't give enough space to people who can't.”
Nzara is very aware of her triggers and works hard to keep them at bay. “When I'm severely depressed, I impulse buy. I impulse buy things either off eBay or Temu, but the thing is. I'm rather strategic in the fact that I make sure that I have paid all my bills first, but it is money that I probably should have saved and that's where I end up beating myself up about it. I'm now in the stages of trying to figure out how to navigate that.”
The season of goodwill
When asked about Christmas, Nzara smiles, “It'll be just me and my cat, which I am more than happy about. I've never been a very big Christmas person. I'm actually looking forward to working at the hostel in Christmas, to be around other people and to be able to share a lot of joy and love during a season which I know is very, very difficult for a lot of people.”
Nzara continues, “It can be chaos, but I love the fact that every time I go into work, all these children give me hugs. The teenagers talk to me when they're not talking to anybody else, you know which I think is the ultimate compliment. And I have parents that cook and share their food with me and look out for me, and I'm so grateful and fortunate to be in that position where I can give people hope.”
Listen to Nzara’s podcast right here.
